Reflections of a Dock Termite

Dock termite wonders if life can get any better

By Ethan DeWitt (now Keene Sentinel Staff)

Reprinted from The Takodah Times, a satirical publication of Family Camp, with the motto: the truth is no obstacle.

WATERFRONT DOCK, THIRD CROSSBEAM FROM BEACH –

Citing the cool breezes, the stunning views, and the abundance of damp North American hardwood, local dock termite Scott Thompson proclaimed the Takodah waterfront the perfect place to raise a family.

“I can’t get enough of this place,” Thompson told The Takodah Times on a recent quiet afternoon under the clammy under-boards of the shallow-end dock. “It’s divine.”

For Thompson, an isopteran termitoidae originally hailing from the bike shed behind TPAC, space, tranquility, and open water were luxuries he once could only dream of. Now, with a family and a stable colony job, Thompson has turned that dream into a new life.

“We’ve been coming down the past few summers,” he told The Takodah Times. “At first we were just renting, but Martha really loves it out here, and the larvae seemed to take to it too. So we decided to settle.”

The decision was a good one. With more free time, Martha quit her foraging job and started an egg grooming business under the buddy tag board. Business is booming.

In an interview with The Takodah Times, Martha shared her husband’s enthusiasm.

“It’s peaceful, the commute is manageable, and the putrefied oakwood under these dock cross-panels is just exquisite,” she said.

With persistence, and a little luck, the Thompsons hope to raise a colony of their own down here. But for now, they’re content to just enjoy the life they have built for themselves.

“This place is perfect,” Scott summarized. “How could you live anywhere else?”